santasale

Day 12 and already lost 6Kgs

It seems like I have been dieting my whole life. Even when I wasn't dieting I was determined to eat whatever I wanted, so the constant focus on food has always been there. I have tried fasting, calorie counting, diet pills (for years) fad eating programs such as no carbs, raw food, vegetarianism, vegan, high protein (hard when you're a vegetarian...) all combined with hard out exercising at the gym, yoga, pilates, weight training etc etc etc...

My most alarming weight gain was reasonably sudden when I fell pregnant with my second child at 35. I suffer from hyper-emesis which means constant vomiting during pregnancy - 24 hours a day for 40wks! You'd think I would have lost weight? I did with my first child, I was 5kg lighter than before my pregnancy. But with the subsequent ones I had medication - lots of medication and lots of dry salty food (mostly hot chips or baked potatos with butter and salt) to try and keep the nausea at bay. By the time I had my son I had gained 36kg! Maybe more but I stopped weighing myself at 96kg as I couldn't stand to see the scales reach (or worse, go past) 100kg!

Then the depression set in. Everyone thought it was just baby blues but I had it bad. I didn't even recognize the person in the mirror, and being fat is HARD! Being overweight makes it hard work to do anything! If bending over to put on my shoes was difficult, trying to find something to wear that made me look good was impossible. I breast fed my son for a year... then back on the diet pills. These were the only thing that would curb my appetite and give me enough energy to keep going, but they made me feel horrible, spaced out and irritable. I couldn't even lose weight with out drugs! But I lost a bit then went back for child number 3. Same thing happened except I ended up in hospital this time, and my weight ballooned! Again - I didn't weigh myself after getting near to that 100kg mark, but I was enormous. The depression came on earlier this time, before I had my baby, and I was prescribed anti-depressants along with all the anti-nausea medication I was taking. Could it get any worse? Yes, it could. My marriage was not happy, and I ate to protect myself. I think I was trying to hide inside myself where I could be safe. My depression was at an all time high, and I had bad times where I couldn't leave the house or answer the phone... Only my closest friend stuck around, she saw what was happening and helped me get out.

That was two years ago. Over that time I have got a bit better. I still have a wee way to go, but I'm going to get there. I lost a bit of weight - I joined Roller Derby! Five hours of full-on cardio training in a full squat will do that! I skated for almost a year when I found that I wasn't performing so well anymore, along with the pain my knees weren't working very well and I couldn't lift my feet up. It felt like I was skating in flippers! Turns out I have early onset osteo-arthritis... so skating is not possible anymore if I want to keep my own knees for a while longer. Since quitting derby in November I re-gained 7kg and it is only February!

Two of my friends have had enormous success with HCG drops and kept the weight off. I want my life back, and I need to get my weight down to help my joints and my self-esteem. The idea of resetting my base weight has enormous appeal, I am so sick of the yo-yo effect of losing and gaining. I want it off, and I want it to stay off!

On day 12 and already lost 6Kgs.

Amanda Murray
Hawkes Bay